coping – Caroliena Cabada

I used to write so much

Photograph out a large window at an autumnal scene. A notebook with some handwriting is blurred in the foreground.

Every semester I try to do the assignments along with my students partly as a way for me to keep up my own writing practice (I write things I turn in for my classes sometimes), and partly to experience for myself what my students experience when I walk them through a multi-stage writing prompt, or set draft deadlines at certain intervals.

Hopelessness

A photograph of a watercolor sketch of a landscape scene with a vermillion sculpture in the background.

Near the end of the first-year composition class I taught this summer, one of my students asked, How do you pay attention to the news without feeling totally hopeless?

Recommit

The weeks have been overwhelming. After Spring Break, when ISU had switched to online learning entirely, and would be online for the rest of the semester, I felt capable of staying on top of my work. I streamlined the curriculum of the classes I teach. My professors were working out their own plans for onlineContinue reading “Recommit”

New poems

Inspiration during a pandemic elicits conflicted feelings. Nonetheless, I try to create mindfully, with good intentions, and share the best of what I can do. Three new poems in two publications recently. They show you where my mind has been. I’m grateful to these publications that are sharing timely work. I hope that the messagesContinue reading “New poems”

What has been getting me through

Re-watching Sailor Moon on the weekends. Reading: Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino, A History of the Philippines by Luis H. Francia, Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, Lilith’s Brood by Octavia Butler, and readings for classes. Re-reading: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling, America Is Not The Heart by Elaine Castillo, TheContinue reading “What has been getting me through”

#weekendcoffeeshare: Having somewhere to be

If we were having coffee, I would first have to adjust my sound settings because my bluetooth headphones sometimes don’t pick up the mic that well. But then I’d tell you that this week, I’ve been having conferences with my students. Some of them have been one-on-one, and some have been done asynchronously through commentsContinue reading “#weekendcoffeeshare: Having somewhere to be”

I miss

Libraries. Biking to campus on days when it’s nice out. Listening to music on the bus. Hanging out with friends at a nearby bar. Occasionally solo eating at a cafe, reading a book from the aforementioned library. Going to class. Writing on the board in my classrooms. Getting coffee from the cafes on campus. BeingContinue reading “I miss”

What is within my control

I’ve talked about drawing circles and writing down what’s within my control before. It’s an exercise I did at the start of the academic year, and I haven’t revisited recently because I feel like I’ve either been caught up in taking steps towards my goals, or I’ve been having to rapidly adapt to the newContinue reading “What is within my control”

Things will be different

Yesterday was a hard day. I spent a chunk of the evening going into an anxiety spiral. (I’m lucky and grateful to have a partner who helps me out of that.) Today, I spent most of the day doing my best to pick up the pieces from that fallout and continue on. And now, I’mContinue reading “Things will be different”

Chasing after an idea

Last night, right before falling asleep, I had a moment when I realized that I was about to lose an idea for a poem. As I was falling asleep, a line came to me so clearly that I tried to repeat it to myself so that I didn’t lose it. But based on past performance,Continue reading “Chasing after an idea”