Blog – Caroliena Cabada

Hopelessness

A photograph of a watercolor sketch of a landscape scene with a vermillion sculpture in the background.

Near the end of the first-year composition class I taught this summer, one of my students asked, How do you pay attention to the news without feeling totally hopeless?

Repeated Reread: Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

I reread Fangirl when I just couldn’t look at a screen anymore. Whenever I needed it, I immersed myself in Cath’s highs and lows as a way to distract from my own creative angst.

#weekendcoffeeshare: Oversharing, underperforming

If we were having coffee, I’d probably oscillate between nervous laughter and tight-lipped silence. Right now, I’m a writer-in-residence at Iowa Lakeside Laboratory, a field research station operated by the Iowa Regents Universities. Like many things, this was something I was chosen for last year, but was delayed due to COVID. This year, I wasContinue reading “#weekendcoffeeshare: Oversharing, underperforming”

See you on the other side

Being vigilant and ready to fight for what’s right may be incredibly draining, but the flip side, hopefully, is also true: that being more aware of potential disaster could also help me be more aware of joy.

Recommit

The weeks have been overwhelming. After Spring Break, when ISU had switched to online learning entirely, and would be online for the rest of the semester, I felt capable of staying on top of my work. I streamlined the curriculum of the classes I teach. My professors were working out their own plans for onlineContinue reading “Recommit”

What has been getting me through

Re-watching Sailor Moon on the weekends. Reading: Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino, A History of the Philippines by Luis H. Francia, Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, Lilith’s Brood by Octavia Butler, and readings for classes. Re-reading: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling, America Is Not The Heart by Elaine Castillo, TheContinue reading “What has been getting me through”

#weekendcoffeeshare: Having somewhere to be

If we were having coffee, I would first have to adjust my sound settings because my bluetooth headphones sometimes don’t pick up the mic that well. But then I’d tell you that this week, I’ve been having conferences with my students. Some of them have been one-on-one, and some have been done asynchronously through commentsContinue reading “#weekendcoffeeshare: Having somewhere to be”

I miss

Libraries. Biking to campus on days when it’s nice out. Listening to music on the bus. Hanging out with friends at a nearby bar. Occasionally solo eating at a cafe, reading a book from the aforementioned library. Going to class. Writing on the board in my classrooms. Getting coffee from the cafes on campus. BeingContinue reading “I miss”

What is within my control

I’ve talked about drawing circles and writing down what’s within my control before. It’s an exercise I did at the start of the academic year, and I haven’t revisited recently because I feel like I’ve either been caught up in taking steps towards my goals, or I’ve been having to rapidly adapt to the newContinue reading “What is within my control”

Things will be different

Yesterday was a hard day. I spent a chunk of the evening going into an anxiety spiral. (I’m lucky and grateful to have a partner who helps me out of that.) Today, I spent most of the day doing my best to pick up the pieces from that fallout and continue on. And now, I’mContinue reading “Things will be different”